Tackling Fear Head-On (While Simultaneously Running Away From It)
I'm a firm believer that all fear is derived from the unknown. As a control freak, I understand that the unknown, or rather the lack of control over a situation, is scary as hell.
Doing things that scare me was my New Years Resolution for 2017. This was the first year that I made a New Years resolution (and actually, technically I made two). I understand that this is by no means is this a unique resolution. Lululemon merchandise has spent the past decade telling me to do one thing a day that scares me, but I was finally ready to take the brand's advice. My second resolution was simply to follow through on the first resolution, because we all know resolutions have a tendency to fall through.
So, ten days into my resolution, I did two very scary things.
The first very scary thing that I did was jump on a plane and run away to Europe for 4 months. (Technically this probably doesn't count as part of my New Years resolution because I booked my flight in September. And technically, I wasn't running away because I was going to study abroad. But it was terrifying nonetheless.) After an emotional goodbye with my mom and my brothers, my dad drove me to the airport and saw me through all the way to security. I vividly remember the butterflies in the put of my stomach, and the hesitation of whether or not I had made the right decision to study abroad for a semester. I had never been to Europe before, and feared that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. After all, I loved my University and enjoyed every minute that I spent at school, so why was I throwing that all away?
Oh yeah - facing my fears.
Here's a picture of me at the airport. Don't be deceived by the smile, I'm trying to divert attention from how scared I am while focusing on not giving in to the weight of my backpack.
Okay, so at this point you can understand that I was already terrified to board the plane and to leave my life behind for four months. So, being me, I decided to make this a little bit more painful.
While standing in line to get my boarding pass scanned before boarding the plane, I decided to text my crush of 2 years and lay all my feelings on the line. The text was something along the lines of what you see in corny teen movies where the girl writes the whole text with the intention of deleting it and then accidentally sends it but then everything ends up working out for her in the end....
My story happens a little differently. I sent the text, quickly sent out a couple of final goodbye texts, turned off my phone and boarded the plane with the full understanding that I wouldn't be able to receive any texts to that number for the next four months. Talk about running away from your problems.
Needless to say, that I have never felt more courageous than I did on January 10th. To this day, not once have I regretted getting on that plane to go to England, or intentionally pressing send on that text. I've learned that sometimes it's kind of nice to let go of control, and sometimes you gain the most freedom from pursuing the things that scare you the most.
*Beware: the next part gets corny.*
To sum it up, you only get one chance at life so there's no point in letting fear of the unknown stop you from having what could be some of the best experiences of your life.
I hope you'll stay with me throughout the upcoming stories of my European adventures (amongst other things), and that through my experiences you will be encouraged to live your life to the fullest, free of any hesitations or regrets.
Yours courageously,
Carling
