Opting for Optimism.

I've come to realize (actually, I don't think this is a recent realization, but rather a realization that has recently become important) that finding the negatives in life is much easier than seeking the positives.

Throughout my 20 odd years on earth, I've been very fortunate in that I haven't had to actively search for happiness or optimism. I have an amazing family, great friends and though I've had bad days, I've never been faced with an obstacle that seemed impossible to overcome.

I (and I'm hoping that I'm not the only one) have turned to negativity as a coping mechanism in times of hardship or stress. When placed in an unfavourable scenario, it's easy to place the blame or to fall victim to the pessimistic voices in your head.

This summer, I started a job that nearly placed me on a path of emotional warfare. It took the behaviours of those around me to change my own trajectory, and try to make the most of my own situation.

To provide a little bit of background, I began working for a charitable project under the auspices of a Christian-fundamentalist church. Having grown up without the influence of religion, I found myself in extremely uncomfortable situations within my first week of work. Not only was I placed at moral crossroads, but I was also being paid meagrely and had to commute over an hour in each direction. I had my own office but was segregated from my co-workers, and I would often go days without physically seeing anyone. To top it off I was flying through any work that they gave me and felt as though my efforts weren't being well received. This doesn't bode well for someone with an A-type personality.

I was absolutely miserable for the first few weeks. I had never felt so out of place and so unfulfilled in my life. At night I would find myself sitting on the floor of my bedroom crying, feeling daunted at the idea of even having to make my lunch for the next day. I had never felt so out of control in my life. But then something strange happened.

I became hyper-sensitive to the negativity that emanated from people around me. I became acutely aware of negative comments (however trivial they may have been), and I realized that I didn't want to be one of those people that exudes pessimism.

I also noticed that the particularly negative people around me weren't taking responsibility for their own happiness. If they weren't succeeding, or if they hit a rough patch, it "wasn't their fault". I strongly believe that the only person who can bring you happiness is YOURSELF. We are the only ones that can determine our own outlook on life, and I realized quickly that I needed to change mine.

If we believe that the world is against us, it will be. So I challenge you to try and find an upside to whatever unfavourable situations you may be in.

For me, I've realized that my job gives me a lot of freedom. I get Fridays off and I have a lot of autonomy in the work that I do. The commute has introduced me to the world of Podcasts (which are incredible, by the way), and I'm fortunate to be getting school credits for my placement. Since I've started focusing on the positives, I haven't spent my morning drives in tears, and I feel more on top of my life then ever before.

It's almost too easy for us to say "hasn't this rainy weather been dreadful?" rather than saying "look how lush the forest is and how green the grass is!" I understand that we can't have the good without the bad, but I challenge you to open your mind and seek out the positive before giving in to the negative.

Yours optimistically,

Carling.

#motivation #lifestyle